The hubs said I needed to start blogging again. I’ve been taking a herbal mixture to calm my anxiety. It does a pretty good job of keeping me relaxed. Unfortunately, it does not get rid of all the negative thoughts in my head. So I’m not panicking, but I’m still thinking. Oh well. At least I’m feeling some relief.
I guess I should go over my biggest stress right now. As it stands, I could lose my job at the end of this school year. You might be wondering how I could lose my job after 5 years of service. Well, it seems that they want to make big cuts if the teachers refuse to renegotiate the contract. I get it. The contract is not sustainable. It is too much money, but still…I like my job. I like where I am and who I am with. So it really makes me sad at the prospect of leaving. And looking for a new job is hard! Okay I have found some openings. But the applications are insane. It’s really stressful to have to write a different essay for each application ranging from my educational philosophy to the strategies I will use to the methods of differentiated instruction I employ. Ugh! So I’m really worked up over it even though I’m calm. I’m not a person who likes change outside of my control. I don’t mind change if I’m the one initiating it. Like three years ago when I looked for a different job. Sadly, I stayed because my contract here was better…now hasn’t that decision come back to haunt me. Oh well. It’s all outside of my control.
And then there are personal issues going on. I had decided that now would be a good time to consider starting a family with the hubs. I’m not so sure if I won’t be keeping my job. But the job has me stressed so going off the pill has not been as breezy as I thought it would. Let’s just say I had hoped I’d be regular and I don’t like not being regular, so it’s hard not to stress when the stress is to blame. Man, I must not have been stressed back in high school because I was always a lovely 30 days! Enough personal stuff.
I was hoping to turn this over to a mommy blog once that was in motion. Guess it will have to wait. I do feel a little better. Maybe some regular interaction with the great world out there will do me good!