I’ve felt off all day. It’s been weird and hard. I don’t know why. My stomach has just hurt on and off even though I think it’s been that I haven’t been eating enough today. That happens sometimes. I don’t eat enough and then my stomach just kills and eating makes it hurt more. 😦
I did get to put up the Christmas tree and decorate it. It looks quite lovely and it’s the first real tree in our little house. I love it! So now he downstairs smells like pine.
And I can’t relax. Next week is going to be tough and I’m making it worse by obsessing over it. UGH! Like tomorrow, I am taking a few kids on sort of a field trip and I just am so worried that something is going to happen, even though I’m sure it all will be fine. And then on Friday, the students are doing their variety show, so I will be working late every day. And I don’t like the thought of having to do this all. I keep thinking what happens if I get sick??? What happens??? Normally, I can just take off, but I can’t afford to do that next week. And why do I worry about this??? WHY? What are the odds it is going to happen? And who really cares? I can cancel the show and it won’t really matter. So I don’t know why I am so worried and worked up over it all. I barely was able to relax today. I spent quite a bit of time reading, which was nice and distracting, but I am still worked up. I tried doing some yoga this afternoon. It helped for the time being. Then I said the rosary in hopes that I would be further centered. It really helped until I was making lunches. Then my tummy started to hurt and I had to go read a little bit more.
Yesterday was amazing. We went to get the tree with the parentals, the bro, and the bro’s wife. It was so much fun trekking all over the hill, looking at the various trees until we found the perfect one. Then we sawed away and took it home. My face ended up so wind burnt because it was so cold outside. I keep trying to hold that thought in my mind when I am heading towards the negative thoughts today. Right now it’s working and I’m smiling a little bit, but I am still very worried. I might try talking to the hubs. He keeps telling me to take it one day at a time. I know I should. I know I should breathe deep and worry only about getting to bed on time and sleeping soundly tonight. I should not be worried about Friday. It’s still five days away. Nothing I have to worry about now. Nothing I have to worry about now. Right now I have to think about the Simpsons. It’s pretty good. I do enjoy this show. And I have to worry about petting my precious kitty who keeps snuggling with me. I think I should focus on the good things right now. Like 18 more days until winter break. I cannot wait because the hubs has off with me this year. So now it’s time to relax with the precious kitties and some mindless TV until it’s time to go to sleep. I am hopeful!